Love in the Time of Dating Apps with Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse

articles, book reviews, romance, Uncategorized, Valentine's Day, woman, womanhood / Tuesday, February 27th, 2018

An Introduction to Dating as a Millenial:

Dating is tough. Throw in what seems like an endless supply of people on dating apps, a socially awkward shyness, distrust of strangers, and you have a perfect recipe for disaster. Recently, I decided for once in my life to concentrate on dating and not on hiding in corners admiring beautiful men from a far. Really, it’s the only way I could get through with it without running away and throwing myself into getting another college degree or two. Yes, I have the tendency to avoid dating by throwing myself into work or school. While I was reading Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse: One Twentysomething’s (Mostly Failed) Attempts at Adulthood by Alida Nugent, I noticed she too is the same way. Not quite like in the same way as Alida Nugent though. Don’t Worry It Gets Worse humorously expresses the problems and tribulations this generation faces especially the awkward leap from undergrad to adulthood. I think I leaped, missed the handlebar, and fell into oblivion sometimes. I’m slowly crawling my way out of the pit I fell into.

Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse made me not feel so alone in this topsy turvy world of dating. In two of her chapters “How to Romantically Destroy Yourself” and “Liam Neeson Is Probably the Reason Why I’m Still Single,” she tackles the subject of dating with our generation especially with online dating.  “How to Romantically Destroy Yourself” focuses on Nugent’s views on love and romance. In this chapter, she covers her attraction to bad boys. Throughout the chapter, she explains her gradually realizations of wanting a relationship with more substance then what her ex bad boy boyfriends could offer her. Same girl, which is one of the reasons why I started using online dating myself.

Liam Neeson Made Me Do It

In “Liam Neeson Is Probably the Reason Why I’m Single,” she engages in the subject of online dating. In the beginning of the essay, she describes how her single hood began to affect how she viewed herself as individual and losing the ability to relate to her friends. After a revelation her friends used online dating to find their boyfriends, she decides to give it a shot herself.

At first she pretends to be a perfectly crafted version of herself. Then, she decides to scrap her original profile to craft a more authentic version. In her new profile, she adds in the section “You should message me if:” Liam Neeson’s monologue from Taken. After going on one online date, she decides to delete her dating profiles. She ends her chapter hopeful and optimistic about finding love in the real world.

One of the more important lessons, she learns is to be true to herself rather than “…creating what I felt to be the perfect image of myself:  funny, cool girl who could take a joke and a drink” (150). For all the ladies and gents reading this blog post: be yourself in both realities. I know it’s hard to take my advice seriously. Half the time, I don’t take my own advice. If I was reading this article (and not writing it), I would give me a side glance like “beach please” too. Don’t worry fellow weirdos someone will love you someday in all of your weirdity. I know it’s easier to pretend to be someone you aren’t. However, it will leave you feeling hollow and empty emotionally. Then, the person you’re dating will only know the inauthentic version of yourself. Now does Nugent cover that, no not really. In a time where love is increasingly found online (somehow) I find it very important for people to know that. 

Just Think Positive

Online dating can feel like being on full display (both emotionally and physically). When you start, you feel vulnerable and self-conscious, and painfully aware of your own faults. And that’s ok, we all have those moments where the little voice makes us doubt ourselves. To hell, with that voice! It will only hinder you from being your true self. If you are embarking on online dating for the first time, treat it like a new adventure: be curious, be optimistic, and be open to being yourself. You will meet amazing people. The kind of people you thought you would never meet in a million years. I know online dating has surprised me lately. 

In the end, all anyone wants on a basic level is to find with online dating and dating apps is as Nugent puts it: “I needed just one person who thought I was funny, who was also funny, and who might want to hang out and crack some jokes with me” (152).

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